But God...

I recently went to a women's retreat in Wisconsin. It was an amazing, Spirit-filled, intimate time of worship. There is a phrase from the retreat that keeps coming back to me, again and again.

But God.

Sometimes we think that the pages of our lives have already been written. We believe that because of our heritage, or our upbringing, or our surroundings, our destiny has been sealed.

However, to believe that means that God has no power to interfere - and the power to interfere is a mighty one.

If we had no hope but to be exactly what we are today...

The addict would have no hope of recovery.
The grieving would have no hope of restoration.
The lost would have no hope of redemption.

That list could go on and on.

Belief is also a mighty power.  And we have the ability to choose to believe that God wants to interfere in our lives.

But God...

I was sick with addiction - but God.
I was wallowing in grief - but God.
I was lost with no hope - but God.

Do you have a belief about yourself or about your life that keeps you from moving forward, from moving closer to God? Are you inwardly, perhaps even secretly, longing for God to interfere with your life?

Are you feeling unwanted? But God...
Are you feeling unloved? But God...
Are you feeling unprotected? But God...

It doesn't matter if you are from the wrong side of the tracks. Or if you have committed the most grievous of sins. Or if you feel as though you've lost your way and can't get back. Or if you are doubting, questioning, faltering.

But God.

Sometimes God will come slamming across your life like a hurricane, violently and unwanted. And sometimes he waits quietly.  He whispers. He woos.

But God.

May I give you some advice? Look for ways God is trying to interfere. Listen for his whispers. Let him do what he does.

But God... Those are beautiful words.

Lavish Update

When this year began, I wanted to choose a word that I would strive to focus on for the next twelve months.  If you have been reading this blog, you know I chose the word "lavish" and I've been working on ways to lavish all kinds of things on my family, my friends, and the people around me.

Something amazingly unexpected has happened.

My goal was to make the lives of others richer, fuller.  My goal was to lavish on others the way God has lavished on me.  His love, his attention, his kindness, his grace . . . the list of his gifts to me goes on and on.  I honestly expected that I would work hard to be a blessing to others and their lives would be changed. 

Who do I think I am?

I don't think I have changed anyone's life.  And suddenly it doesn't matter.  Because you know what?  I'm the one who is changed!

I have been radically, almost violently, blessed this year.  I mean, in a way that totally interferes with my life and my space and my outlook - blessed.  Knock my socks off blessed.  Can't wrap my mind around it blessed.  Don't understand it blessed.

Blessed.

I thought I could lavish on others.  Instead, others have been lavishing on me!  It gets better and better every day.  They've been pointing me to Christ, showing me how he showers on me - his love, his attention, his kindness, his grace . . .

An immediate, hindering thought occurs.  I've had a some hurts this year.  Some knock downs.  Some punches.  What about those?  What's amazing is this - the more I think about his gifts, the more I don't think about the hurts.  His gifts are greater than anything in the world.

His love, his attention, his kindness, his grace . . .

The list goes on and on.

Thank you, God, for lavishing on me.  Thank you for using people, people who showed me warmth and acceptance and . . . love, attention, kindness, grace . . . the list goes on and on.  All these gifts that you give freely, you often give through others.  So use me, please?  Let me try - just try - to bless others half as much as you've blessed me. 

A Letter to My Daughter-In-Law

I have one son, who is 11.  Clearly, then, I don't have a daughter-in-law.  In fact, I'm one of those mothers who discourages the whole "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing - in elementary school.  And I'll do it in middle school.  And I'll probably do it in high school.  My idea is, only date someone you'd marry.  And if you are too young to think about marriage, you are too young to think about dating.

Sounds old-fashioned, I know.
I'm okay with that.

But I know my daughter-in-law is out there, somewhere.  And in 20 years, when they are preparing to get married (I know, he'll be 31 . . . I can dream) - I hope the letter below still exists, and she'll read it, knowing I was thinking about her.

There are some things I want her to know.  Some things I wanted to write down, in case in 20 years I'm senile - or gone.  I want her to know that I've been preparing for her.  So here goes:

Dear Daughter,

Oh, how I am praying for you.  Perhaps we know each other, now - or perhaps we've not met.  Either way, I'm praying for you. 

I'm praying that you are being raised in a holy home by parents who shower you with affection and blessing.  I'm praying that your mother models for you biblical femininity.  I'm praying that your father protects you with a fierce love that only daddies can offer.  I'm praying they teach you the Bible and the ways of the Lord, and they tell you every day how much they love you, and how much God loves you, too.

I pray that your home is filled with love, with laughter, with creativity, with joy.  I pray you feel safe in your home, free with your parents, strong in their love.  I pray that you sense you have a special calling, a destiny waiting to be fulfilled.

If you don't have those things . . . I pray that God protects your heart from hardness, your mind from decay, and your body from harm.  I hope you are able to remain tender and soft, loving and kind.  No matter what is happening now or has happened to you in your life - God loves you.  He has always loved you, he will always love you, and even when you haven't felt him, He was there. 

In addition to praying for you, I also promise you this:  I am doing my part to make your husband the man you want and need.  He already does his own laundry and cooks.  You may not realize just how amazing that is!  He is independent and likes doing things on his own.  I can only pray that continues as he becomes a teenager and young man!

I am teaching him to honor and respect women.  I try to model for him the kind of biblical woman described in Proverbs 31 and 1 Peter 3.  I fall way short of the ideal, but I am trying. 

I am preparing him to lead you.  His father does a wonderful job of modeling for him the kind of servant leadership that is found in Ephesians 5.  His father loves me the way Christ loves the church, and he shows me that consistently. 

In these ways, we are training our son for adulthood, to lead and serve, to be strong and tender.   It isn't easy - sometimes it is downright painful.  But you are never far from my mind.  I am not teaching him to be a good 11-year-old.  I am teaching him to be a good adult - wise, productive, contributing to the world.  I am teaching him to be a good husband, a good father, one who loves the Lord and loves the ones God has given him.

Here are some more promises for you:  I promise to value you, even though I am sure we will do things differently.  I promise to not criticize you, to your face or behind your back.  I promise to recognize that you are now his priority, not me.    I promise to include you in our traditions and encourage you to make your own. 

I promise to be the best. stinking. grandma. ever.  (Besides your mother, of course.)

I promise to work, really work on our relationship.  To support you.  To support your marriage.  To support your work.  I promise to enjoy you, and not to try to change you.  I promise to teach you, but only if you want to be taught.  I'll be here if you need advice, and I will try really, really hard to not offer advice if it's not asked for.  (But I can't make promises on that one.  I can only try.)

I always wanted a daughter.  When it became clear in our life that we were not going to have more children, I started setting my sights on my daughter-in-law.  I've been praying for you for years.  Wanting you, looking for you, preparing for you. 

I pray that together, you and your husband - my son - worship God, and God alone.  I pray that you build your home on a biblical foundation, and that you never ever stray from that.  Sometimes I see glimpses of the future, and I see the radical importance of staying right in Christ - now more than ever.  Or should I say then more than ever. 

Oh, my darling daughter . . . I think of you often.  When you get married, I hope you are radically close to your parents.  If you are, you may not want me to think of you as my daughter.  You may think that it is an insult to your parents.  I can very much understand that.  But know this - in my heart, there will not be any titles that separate us.  I will love you like my own.  You will be my daughter.  I will love you, protect you, respect you. 

You will be a gift to your husband, and I hope by then we have showed him and taught him how to cherish the incredible gift that you are.  I pray we have taught him to be grateful for the gifts that God gives him.  Gifts none of us deserve, but are graciously given all the same. 

Know that already, I want only good things for you.  I want you to know Christ, and the power of his resurrection.  I want you to know the blessing of contentment.  I want you to know love, overwhelming, all-encompassing love.  And forgiveness.  And grace.  And . . . well, frankly, that list goes on and on.

So I am praying for you.  I will not stop praying for you.  May our rich and loving God shower you with his abundant presence.  May he never stop teaching you, reaching you, working on you, in you, and through you. 

May you be blessed.  Today and always. 

Stand in the Gap

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”  And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”  Isaiah 6:8

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you  Matthew 28:18-20

The Christian life is a soldier's life.  We are fighting a war for holiness, for righteousness, with epic battles for eternal outcomes.  Each soldier has a role.  Each soldier has a purpose. Each soldier has a mission.  

Jesus told us in Matthew 28 what the purpose of the mission is:  to make disciples.  This is what we are fighting for.  And then, he equips us with every piece of armor we need to overcome the dark and evil forces of our enemy.  Ultimately, the war has already been won - by Jesus, the Messiah, the Redeemer, the Conqueror of sin and death.  Yet he stills calls us to join him in the battle for souls - the lives of our friends, our loved ones. 

While we were created individually, with special and unique gifts and talents, the overriding purpose of those talents is to tell people about God.  However you do it - as a doctor, a stay at home mom, a sales clerk - that's what you are called to do. 

It's actually a pretty simple battle plan.  

This is a spiritual battle, but this is a physical world.  Paul tells us in Ephesians 6 that we don't battle flesh and blood, but spiritual forces.  These forces are the enemy of the Christ follower, who wants nothing less than our souls to be damned, for eternity.  But Paul wasn't saying that there is not physical work to be done.  In fact, the spiritual campaign for souls involves massive physical work.  

It requires going.  

The Lord asked Isaiah, who will go?    That is not a rhetorical question.  It's real life, with real implications.  It's about blood, sweat, tears.  It's going physically, going emotionally, going mentally, going spiritually.  It's work.

Jesus told us to go and make disciples.  That is not a rhetorical command.  It's real life, with real implications.  It's about blood, sweat, tears.  It's going physically, going emotionally, going mentally, going spiritually.  It's work.

Sometimes, in this battle, a soldier falls or is brought home.  What will happen to the people that soldier was fighting for?  Who will pray now?  Who will disciple now?  Who will go now?

That's the question, the point of this post.  Who will stand in the gap for the soldier who has left?  Will it be you?  

This weekend, one of our soldiers went home.  It's where she'd been working, praying, fighting to be.  My heart is ... heavy is not the right word.  Because I know where she is and I can only imagine what she's doing.  My heart is ... full, because I will miss her.  I will need her.  I will remember her.

But who will stand in her place?  Who will pray and intercede and give and love and remember?  Who will do the things she did?  

Here am I, Lord.  Send me.  Send me to my knees, praying for the lost.  Send me to the bedside of the sick, bearing their burdens.  Send me to my wallet to give money, helping those in need.

Just send me.

There are two battle songs that come to my mind.  One is called "Hosanna."  The second verse says, "I see a generation, rising up to take their place, with selfless faith."  The other song is "Break Every Chain."  One of the verses goes, "There's an army rising up, to break every chain."

Battle songs.  War cries.  Victory anthems. 

There are still battles left to fight and victories left to win.  Whether you want to be at war or not, you are.  Whether you want to be in battle or not, you are.  Every day there is a victory waiting for you to claim.  

Who will go?  Will you take your place?  Will you rise up?

Pray that God will make you brave enough to say, "Here am I.  Send me." 

What Kind of Warrior are You?

We are all warriors.  We are all fighting some kind of battle.  Some of us are winning, some of us are losing.  Some of us have no idea what we are doing!

That warrior is dangerous - to themselves.

The way I see it, there are two kinds of warriors:  the Cowardly and the Courageous.  Remember, we are all fighting for something, or against something.  As you read through these descriptions, think about what kind of warrior you are.

Oh, and be careful.  Some of these may hurt!

The Cowardly Warrior lashes out on social media, not naming names of course, but giving themselves a powerful slap on the back that they put "that person" in their place.  Doing this may make the Coward feel like a king, but the reactions of the reader runs the gamut from head scratching to anger.  It is a passive aggressive, immature way of dealing with the punches of life. 

The Courageous Warrior honors the principles of Matthew 18.  Jesus said, "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over."  (verse 15)  The Courageous One will choose biblical foundations over temporary flashes of temper.  

The Cowardly Warrior cannot accept instruction or correction.  When offered wisdom and truth, the Coward takes no responsibility and makes no amends.  He slinks away and licks his wounds, and never grows emotionally, mentally or spiritually.

The Courageous Warrior remembers the wisdom of Proverbs:  "Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life."  (4:13)  Courage knows that it is not enough to listen to wisdom; you must act on it, put it into practice.

The Cowardly Warrior has evidence of immaturity and ignorance in her life:  broken relationships, lost jobs, bad credit.  Folly is clearly running the show in the Coward's life.  But they have chosen to blame others, instead of taking responsibility.

The Courageous Warrior has evidence of maturity and wisdom in her life:  long relationships, established work, good reputation.  She is known for her good decisions, just as Solomon was:  "Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?”  (2 Chronicles 1:10)  God-given wisdom is at the forefront of her life.  When she makes mistakes, she steps forward, takes responsibility, and moves on.

The Cowardly Warrior allows outward circumstances to dictate their actions:  a bad day drives bad decisions.  The mildest of circumstances can transform them - weather, friends, even the news.  When they hear gossip, they allow it to fuel their fire, and turn around and burn others.  No one is safe from their ire.

The Courageous Warrior knows that they must rise above all circumstances.  They remember the words of Paul is Philippians 4:11-12:  "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."  Courage trusts that God uses all circumstances for His glory, whether it is something as simple as a traffic jam, or as complex as illness.  

The Cowardly Warrior is quick to point out the fault of others, and how those faults affect them!  They show no grace, no mercy, no love or forgiveness to friend or stranger, should that person dare to cross them in anyway.  The Coward is extremely touchy; always upset about something, always on a soapbox, always frustrated and unhappy about the world.  They are constantly judging others while insisting no one judge them.

The Courageous Warrior knows that Jesus meant what he said:  "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' wen all the time there is a plank in your own eye?"  (Matthew 7:2-4)

Courage recognizes their own sinful bent, and with a thankful heart for their own forgiveness, offers forgiveness to others.  They are not touchy, sensitive, or needy.  They rely on Jesus to meet their needs, soothe their hearts, renew their strength.

The Cowardly Warrior likes to think that no one is watching them.  When someone cuts him off in traffic for example, he yells, even using hand gestures, knowing that his fellow motorist is long gone and has no idea what he's doing.  But you know who is watching?  His children.  His spouse.  His God.

The Coward only wants to be noticed when he is doing something right.  He expects to be overlooked when he is doing something wrong, and will take no notice of the damage he causes to the little eyes and ears that see and hear.  And it's not just family - the people in the office, in the Sunday School class, in the grocery store line - they all see.  They all hear.  They all know.  They see you scowl.  They hear you complain.  They are watching, and they know what you do.

The Courageous Warrior knows that the real life is a transparent life.  He remembers that God is always watching, always there.  Courage knows that he must be open to inspection.  "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander."  (1 Peter 3:15-16)

Courage doesn't need to hide his actions during the day.  Courage doesn't need to hide his actions from others.  Courage encourages both friend and foe to look to him - not because he thinks he is perfect.  Because he is not!  But Courage knows he lives under grace.

Finally, the Cowardly Warrior believes lies.  She believes that she cannot control her own behavior, that she "can't help the way she is."  Wallowing in this belief, she doesn't reach for a higher ideal of life.  She chooses to stay complacent.

The Courageous Warrior consistently reaches for more.  Not more stuff, or fame, or money.  She reaches for a deeper life, a deeper love.  She has the power and strength to reach because she knows how deep God is!  Courage believes Paul's words in Ephesians 3:  "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ."  (17-18)

I hope these words today will encourage you.  Challenge you.  Call to you.  I assume that you are like me - I find myself in some areas of cowardice, some areas of courage.  I hope that these truths will inspire us all to walk away from being cowards, and run towards courage. 

In the Interest of Full Disclosure . . .

I must confess. 

This morning when I was writing on here I felt like I was getting kicked in the teeth.

Because so far . . .

The lavish life is not being well-lived.

And I think I know why.  It seems that the hardest place to keep love alive is in the home.  You know?  I think we are all a little bit frustrated with the weather, tired of being off our regular routine, feeling pushed to our emotional limits.

Or maybe it's just me.

A week ago I was a part of an amazing worship experience.  I watched, I listened, I absorbed, I participated. 

And I got kicked in the teeth.  Right in the middle of the worship.  I've been kicked by the devil before, but this time, I've had a hard time getting over it.  I can't shake him!  And it's getting to me. 

So you add that to the snow, the sub-zero temperatures, not to mention the attitudes of most of us about said snow and sub-zero temperatures, and you get this.

Me.
Stingy me. 
The opposite of lavish.

Not being lavish with my husband.
Not being lavish with my child.
Not being lavish with others.

Clearly, I need to lavish on myself.  Now, don't take that the wrong way.  I'm not talking about lavishing stuff on myself.  (Although I still want that tiara!)  I'm not talking about being "nicer" to myself, buying myself a pick-me-up, or raising my self-esteem.

I'm talking about lavishing myself with the word of God.  I'm talking about wallowing in His presence.  I'm talking about letting His love amaze me, His grace wash me, and His power fill me. 

Please forgive me, the one or two people who may read this.  If I have acted as if I'm already being lavish on others - that was a lie.  I'm struggling with it.  Maybe that's why God led me to that word in the first place!  Maybe I needed reminded that I have to be filled with his lavish love before I can turn it around to the rest of the world.

I need to start over again, and I'll do that now. 

To Lavish . . .

My quest for a lavish life this year may be misleading.  I'm not asking for my own yacht, fancy clothes, or a tiara. 

Scratch that.  I desperately want a tiara. 

Desperately.

Seriously.

Anyway, the lavish-ness I'm looking for isn't something that is coming for me.  I want it to come from me.  I want to develop the ability and skills to make whoever I am with feel special.  I want that person to know that at that moment, I am totally and wholly with them.  Whether I am with my husband, my child, or others, I am working towards making them feel loved.

So I've already talked about how I want to lavish on my husband, and on my child.  Today, I have a plan of how to lavish on others. 

The first way is the same as the others - prayer.  I want my friends and loved ones to know without a doubt that I am praying for them.  Not just the kind of praying that's, "Lord, be with so-and-so."  I mean the kind of prayer that makes my knees hurt.  The kind that agonizes.  The kind that cries.

That's the kind of prayer that people need.  Interceding.  Loving.  Working.  Prayer that walks beside them, through the trenches.

Next, I want to lavish others with authentic friendship.  The kind that really cares, gets involved.  The kind of friendship that takes time.  This kind of lavishing is not smart mouthed or sarcastic.  It's real, and really in the moment. 

Lavishing friends with authentic friendship means that you'll get my attention.  The kind that asks about their children.  Their jobs.  Their spouses.  And then listens to the answers!

Which brings me to the next area of lavishing - listening.  I can't tell you how many times I have realized in the middle of someone else's story that I wasn't listening!  I enjoy blaming it on my ADD (or, as my husband refers to it, Adult Onset Undiagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder - AOU-ADD), but the truth is, I could listen better if I try.

I tend to be a problem solver by nature.  But I know that sometimes when I'm upset or have a problem, I don't want my friend to solve it for me.  I just want them to listen to me.  Yes, I am a whiner.  I state it proudly!  I AM A WHINER!  MY NAME IS JENN, AND I'M A WHINER!  And I'm not the only one.

Sometimes in life, you just need to whine.  Not forever - that's not healthy.  But sometimes whining can be healthy.  What I'm really doing when I listen to you whine is validating your problem.  I'm going to listen, ask questions that encourage you to talk more, and listen some more!  There's a great article from Real Simple magazine that you can read here How To Be a Good Friend.  

Finally, I'm going to lavish my friends with grace.  So you're late.  Tired.  Forgetful.  I want you to give me a break, so why shouldn't I give that to you?  I want friends that accept me just how I am, so why shouldn't I give that to you?  I want people to not judge me - so why shouldn't I give that to you?

As a Christian, I have been freely given grace - God, in fact, has lavished it upon me.  But I know that I'm not so great about lavishing this on others.  I'm selfish and self-centered.  (Stop.  It's true.)  I think about my time, my schedule, my preferences.

But grace isn't about me.  It's about you. 

So that's what I'm working on.  How about you?