Christmas

Ahhh . . . Christmas.  That wonderful time of the year, where families gather, dreams are fulfilled, and magic happens.  The perfect gifts are exchanged, the memories are priceless, and every picture tells a beautiful story.

Whatever.

One thing I'm learning this Christmas, more than ever before?  It's a marketing ploy.  It's a fictional creation of Madison Avenue.  Most of what we do for Christmas, the traditions and important rituals, aren't meaningful to Christmas at all.  They've been derived from old movies, stories and Norman Rockwell pictures. 

We had a family Christmas today.  No chestnuts were roasted - I don't even know what chestnuts are!  There was no roaring fire - I don't have a fireplace.  I didn't bake a huge ham or turkey - we had lasagna.  We didn't sing carols or even read the Christmas story.  (Oops.  Good job, Pastor.)  

We talked.  We ate.  We played.  We ate.  We watched football.  We ate.  We talked again.  And oh yeah, we opened presents.  We watched each other open one gift each, and we ooo'ed and ahh'ed.  Then we just went for it.

And we laughed.  We laughed and laughed and laughed. 

We played jokes on each other, or tried to.  (Yes, I encouraged my child to draw with a Sharpie on his sleeping uncle's glasses.  What of it?  And yes, when the phone rang, I let this same child answer it, saying, "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?)  We spent time with family we haven't seen for awhile.  And it was great.  I truly had a great time.

It didn't look like a Christmas postcard or a Hallmark special or "It's a Wonderful Life."  It looked like our life.  It was joyful.  And that's Christmas.  Joy began in a manger, in a new little family who had nothing but each other, and God. 

That's us.  And I like it. 

We still have two Christmases to go.  This year, Christmas Day is going to be just the three of us.  At first I was a little sad about that.  But now I'm thinking . . . if Christmas can begin with a family of three, I think I can be content with that. 

That's us.  And I like it.

Merry Christmas!

Today I Will Be Different

I go through stages in my life.  Cycles, if you will.  There is one stage that continues to rear its ugly head.  I never quite overcome it or get through it.  I can put it to the side, try to forget about it for awhile, but somehow, some way, it always comes back.  And I struggle through it again.

It's a stage of self-destruction.  Of self-loathing, almost.  It's a stage of thinking, thinking, thinking of myself.  Not in a big-headed way.  Actually, almost the opposite.  But still, it's a self-centered thing.  It is a stage where I wallow.  I think of myself, of my faults and weaknesses, incessantly.  I have a hard time getting to the other side of it.

Every morning, I wake up and I think, today I will be different.  Today I will think differently.  I will act differently.  I will BE different.

It's not long before I realize that today is just like every other day.  I still bit my kid's head off.  I still was lazy.  I still accomplished nothing.  I still ate too much.  Drank too much diet pop.  Spent too much time on Pinterest.

And I get so frustrated with myself.  I mean, SO frustrated.  That loathing I mentioned earlier?  Oh yeah.  That's the word.  And so I go to bed, and I think, tomorrow I will be different.  And in the morning I wake up and I think, today's the day.  Today I will be different.

And the cycle begins again.  Aristotle said, "We are what we continually do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."  I read things like that, and I think, crap!  I have no hope!  Because my habits are horrible! 

So tonight I was thinking about all this (notice that I am clearly in that self-centered stage right now) and I wondered two things:  what would happen if I just quit trying to be different?  And, what if I'm just different right now?

As a Christian, what would happen if I just quit trying to be what I think I'm supposed to be, and literally, moment-by-moment, with a fervent zeal and all-encompassing passion - turn to God?  What if I ask him what to wear, what to eat, what to do?  What if I just admit that I am weak and stupid and honestly cannot handle my own life?  What if I just run to him like a little child, confessing my faults and weaknesses and self-loathing and self-hatred and just bawl like the stinking baby that I am?

Or . . .

What if I took the attitude that I'm not going to be different all day . . . but just for this moment.  What if I just go slowly, take a deep breath, realize that not every sensation has to be experienced right now.  What if I realized that I can stop myself from biting at my loved ones but I can't take it back once it's done?  Or how about if I realized that chocolate will still taste like chocolate tomorrow?  Or what if I remember that Pinterest, for all its inspiration, just makes me feel frustrated?  What if I take all of those individual moments and just respond differently . . . once?  By turning over my choices and my actions and my habits to God?  Moment by moment.

Clearly, either reaction to my life takes me in the same direction - to my maker and my creator.  But doing the same thing - going through this same self-destructive cycle - simply has me running in circles. 

So can I combine these two thoughts?  Can I resolve to stop trying, and at the same time, turn each moment into a God sighting? 

This is me being raw, completely transparent:  I don't know if I can do it.  I'm so deeply ingrained in the self cycle that I don't know if I can stop.  But I do know this:  putting it out there is a good first step.  Inviting God to be the impetus is good.  Narrowing my focus to Him and not to me - that works. 

But for how long?

Because that's the real thing, right?  We take on new habits, resolutions - especially this time of year.  We resolve to eat right, exercise, love our neighbor, give more.  But in a few weeks . . . here comes the old us again.

Maybe I am the only one who does this.   I have a feeling that I am not, but even if I am, that's ok.  I'm putting it out there.  I'm taking a step. 

Maybe the battle isn't won in big leaps and bounds, but in one small step.  One step at a time.

Breathing Room

Merry Christmas!  It seems like forever since I've posted.  Life has overwhelmed me with it's busyness.  Today, I had an unexpected break:  a breakfast I had planned had to be postponed due to the weather.  So ... I. Did. Nothing. 

Ahhhhh . . .

Ahhhhh . . .

Every year, I put myself through the same thing.  I can't just "decorate" for Christmas.  I have to DECORATE.  I don't have decorations that are already put together; a centerpiece for a table, a pre-made tree, etc.  No, no - I have to create it all.  It's different every year.

Every year I focus so much on the decorations I wonder if I'm wasting my time.
Every year I focus so much on the external that by the end of the season I have ... internal injuries.
Every year.  Every. Single. Year.

I usually begin planning my Christmas in September.  I write and rewrite lists, ideas, dreams.  I start bugging my husband about projects.  And none of this has anything to do with gifts - it's all about the house!

This year, I didn't have the time.  Taking two classes this fall, serving in ministry, being a wife and a mom - I just didn't have the time or energy to do the preparation.   Fast forward to Thanksgiving weekend.  My son, who usually loves all the decorating and tradition, dumped me for Grandma's house.  (Can you imagine??)  I pulled up my decorations from the basement, and I just couldn't make any decisions.  I couldn't make anything work.

Usually, after I get everything decorated, I will say something like, "It looks like Christmas threw up in here."  But this year, it doesn't.  This year, it looks kind of serene. 

This year, it looks kind of perfect.

I just came home a few minutes, say in my reclining chair in the living room, looked around, and exhaled.

Ahhhhh . . .

So this is it.  This is all that's going to happen.  Because you know what?  I'd rather decorate my heart than my home.  I realize I've taken pride - the wrong kind of pride - in how I decorate for Christmas.  I want my home to be a tool, a vehicle God can use to reach others.  And I'm pretty sure my great big God can do that whether it's perfectly decorated or not.  Even with some dust on the table and dirt on the floor.  

So I'm just going to keep exhaling.  Keep reveling in the moment, remembering that all this is about a tiny baby who was born to become a sacrifice, and a King.  My King.

I'm going to keep my heart pointed to Christ, my King.  And not pointed to my house.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you are all planning a warm and wonderful day tomorrow.

You know, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's got all of the food, with none of the pressure of the gifts, the decorating, the programs and parties. It's all about relaxing and enjoying time with family and friends.

But I know for some of you, anticipating spending time with family is difficult. Time with family can mean anxiety, distress, even bitterness and anger.

So how can you enjoy this day without stress?

There's only one way: Jesus. By giving thanks, not in some random way, but specifically to our God. Don't just talk about giving thanks. Truly offer your gratitude to God. Focusing on Him and His perfect presence and good gifts can make the mess just . . . go away.

Grandma might still be cranky. Uncle Bo might still be loud. Your sister Jessie might still be judgmental. But that's ok. You don't exist to please them. You exist to please an audience of One.

So today, as you prepare for tomorrow, may I encourage you just a little bit with this verse?

"With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the Lord:

'He is good;
his love toward Israel endures forever.'

And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the Lord..." Ezra 3:11.

The people were rejoicing because the foundation of the temple had been built and laid. The temple wasn't completed, just the foundation. And that is what the people rejoiced in.

You are the same. You aren't finished yet! But if you have built your life on the foundation of Jesus Christ, you already have everything you need.

Let the slings and arrows that may come your way fall to the side. Let the fighting roll off your back. Respond to insults with blessings. Be careful to guard your heart with the love of Jesus Christ so that anger and bitterness cannot find root within you.

We are loved and cherished! Our Great God has given us so many gifts! So dare to truly be grateful! And have a Happy, Happy Thanksgiving!

Here Comes the Judge

Our misunderstood Bible verse today if from Matthew 7:  "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you (verses 1 - 2)."

This verse has been used over and over again to defiantly throw sin in the face of others.  "Don't judge me" is really a heart's cry for "don't look at me".  "Don't inspect me."  And what that really means is, I'm afraid for you to look at me.  I'm afraid of what you will see.

Jesus is not telling us to turn our eyes away from sin.  He is not telling us to pretend that truth is not there.  He is not telling us to act as though the ugliness doesn't exist.  Nothing could be further from the truth!  Actually, he is telling us just the opposite. 

In fact, further down in the Sermon on the Mount recorded in Matthew 7, Jesus tells us to inspect the fruit of others so that we know what is good:   "Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them."  

You see, Jesus clearly defines the difference between judging and inspecting:  judging is condemning.  Inspecting is evaluating.  For example, I can say the same thing in two different ways, and mean completely different things.  I can say, "awww, you look tired" in a sympathetic voice, and this shows that I have inspected you and I have evaluated that you are tired.  Or, I can say, "ewww, you look tired!" in a manner that shows you I think you look bad!

It is important as Christians that we judge as evaluation.  That we inspect the works of others - not for the purpose of condemnation, but for the recognition of good or evil.  Jesus didn't say that WE will be the ones who cut down the bad tree and throw it in the fire.  He simply said that we will be able to recognize the heart and intentions of the tree by looking at its fruit. 

So we do have to judge, if you define it as evaluating.  However, judging for the purposes of choosing life or death for others is not our job.  That is only God's job.  Jesus could not have been clearer about the consequences of judging unwisely:  we will be judged in that same way. 

I can be tough and harsh on others sometimes.  And I certainly don't want to be judged that way.  I really want to learn to see others the way God does:  through the lens of Jesus' redemptive blood.  And that is the key, don't you think?

The key is your intent.  Are you looking at someone in order to put them down, to consider yourself better than them, maybe even to make them feel bad?  That's the problem.  On the other hand, are you looking at someone to determine their influence on you?  On your children?  On the world?  Are you looking at someone to see how you can walk beside them, how you can carry their burdens?  

Why is the question:  why are you judging?  What are you trying to gain?  Jesus said that we will not gain heaven by judging others.  And that should be enough of a warning for us to stop dead in our tracks if we are struggling with judging!

To sum it all up:  judgment is God's job.  Inspection is ours.  Know the difference.

Where's the Good?

Continuing on with a look at the verses that are misused or misunderstood, here is our next one, and it's very popular and well known.  Romans 8:28:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

This verse in no way says that God will only bring us good things.  But that's how it is used and claimed today, and it's so wrong.

I want to make sure I continually emphasize the important of reading the Bible in context.  To take a verse here or there and apply it as you want is to create a false religion that is based on selfish wants and desires.  God does not exist to please you.  You exist to please Him.  Our theology is upside down when we search the Bible looking for verses that justify us or make us "feel better."  That is not what the Bible is for.

So before I go back to Romans, what is the Bible for?  What is your answer to that?  I would say that the Bible exists to point us to God - through history, stories, songs, letters, poetry, visions.  Every single word in the Bible is about God - not Moses, Abraham, John the Baptist or Paul.  It's the story of God.  It's truth.  It's life.

So what is Romans 8:28 about, anyway?  Let's look at the verse in the context of the passage.  Romans 8 is one of my favorite chapters in the whole Bible.  It's actually the first place I send someone new to the Word.  I don't ask them to read an entire book, I just say to start with a chapter.  Because this is an extraordinary one!  It starts with "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" to  "Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" to "If God is for us, who can be against us?" to nothing "will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

What hope!

But specifically, let's look at the ten verses that precede 28:

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

You see, the context of this passage isn't about us.  It's about God.  It means that though we are suffering - whether through our choices or others' - God will make that suffering good.  Not because we deserve it.  Not because we are worthy.  Only because God himself is good.

Be careful in allowing yourself to define what good is.  A child who is sick, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job - those things are not good on the surface.  Only God - the source of good - can take the difficult, sometimes downright horrible circumstances of our lives and turn them into circumstances of holiness and redemption.

Remember the promise Isaiah shared with Israel:

To all who mourn in Israel he will give: beauty for ashes; joy instead of mourning; praise instead of heaviness. For God has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory.

 God doesn't necessarily give us good things.  He makes our things good.  And that's huge difference.

I Can't Handle It!

So many times I have heard people say, God won't give me more than I can handle.  And then I've also heard others be frustrated and angry with God, because they felt like they were at the end of their ropes and God wasn't following through on his promises.

The problem is, that's not what God promised.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."  

I assume most people are referring to that verse when they think about not being given more than they can handle.  But there are a few important details that you must notice:

1. This verse is about temptation.  Not about life circumstances.  
2. This verse doesn't say that we decide how much we can take.  
3. This verse is not about us.  It's about him.

Be careful about your expectations about God.  Be careful that you really know his word, his promises.  This verse tells us that our temptations are not bigger than God - that no matter how we are tempted, he can handle it.  He is bigger.  He will provide the right path.

We are never alone in our temptations.

God and God alone is the source of our strength.  When we are tempted, we must turn to him.  But notice the other thing about this verse - it doesn't leave open the possibility that we will NOT be tempted.  We will be - that is fact.  But Paul does say that it is NOT POSSIBLE that we will be over-tempted.  Tempted beyond our ability.  Tempted beyond our capacity.  There is no such thing.

God will always be there, will always be our strength, will always provide the way.  But that does not mean that he will not give us more than we can handle.  Because he will!  Only when we reach the end of ourselves do we reach for him.  Jesus says to give him our burdens (Matthew 11).  Paul says that when we are weak, he is strong (2 Corinthians 12).  

When we are finished, he has just begun.  That has nothing to do, in no way means that he will allow stuff in our lives.  Because that's just when he is getting good!