A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the burden I feel about prayer. I basically challenged the devil to a fist fight, and unfortunately, the devil won this battle.
Life came along. I was busy. Distracted. And in that short period of time, my passion faded. I was still praying, but not with fire. Not with passion.
After a week of this, by last Friday I was discouraged. I had no vision or desire. And I was taking everything personally.
How is it that everything I do or think becomes so selfish? Why am I surprised when the devil finds me, and attacks me? Especially when I pretty much challenged him to a duel.
What have I learned from this? That you have to be on guard. All the time. That you have to constantly and consistently surrender your will to His. That no matter what happens, it's not about me. It's about Him.
The blessing of this tough lesson is that the people I've been praying for were at church today. Three of the four couples. That's a joy. And it's a reflection of His power. Definitely not mine.
I don't know that I am adequately describing my self disgust. I blew it. To clean my house and work and just do stuff. What do I have to show for that week? Not much. (although I cleaned out my garage. That's pretty awesome.)
I'm going to be studying the armor of God, and I'll be posting at times. I'm still learning a lot in this journey. All I know is that I want to be like John the Baptist, in John chapter 3. "He must become greater; I must become less.”
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