What's it all about?

Hey there.  I don't blog much anymore, but I've been thinking about something this week, and wanted to write about it. 

We're heading into Christmas, and I'm determined to have no let downs.  Realistic expectations.  I'm determined to enjoy my husband and my child.  I'm determined to have fun with my family.  I'm determined to remember what it's all about.

Once upon a time, someone said to me, "Christmas is about family!"  And I about came unglued.  I thought, Christmas is about Jesus, not family.

But I was wrong.

Christmas IS about family.  It's about God extending his family lineage to man, by sending his son to be our redemption.  Through that redemption, we become joint heirs with Christ.  We are his brothers, his sisters.  We are the sons and daughters of God.

Of course it's about family.

But I could argue, it's about the family of God, not my earthly family. 

I'd be wrong, again.

I serve God when I serve my family.  I love God when I love my family.  I'm faithful to God when I'm faithful to my family.  I don't do these things because I can, or because they are easy, or because I want to.  It's not always fun to love people!  But I can't love God and not love others.

And I can't love the family of God, and the world beyond, if I can't love my family.

I think I'm a hostess by nature.  I love to have people in my home, I love for them to come in, kick off their shoes, and relax.  And I love to have a big crowd for Christmas.

But I have loved this for the wrong reasons.  I think, deep inside, I feel guilty for only - "only!" - having one child.  I have friends with lots of kids, and their holidays are busy, busy, busy.  And I want to be like that.  So I invite and invite. 

But not this year.  This year, Christmas Day could be just the three of us.  We've always told the grandparents and other family members to come over any time of the day if they want.  But this year, it might not happen.  And a lot of years, I invite friends over in the evening.  I've always wanted a big crowd.

I think - and I'm really confessing here - that having people here on Christmas validates me.  Which makes Christmas about me.  Not others.  Not family.  Not God.  I'm using Christmas to make me feel popular and accepted.

Not this year.  I want my son to know, first of all, about the Christ child.  And he does, I have no doubt.  And he has a healthy perspective on gifts and the "reason for the season" and all that.  He's not greedy and when I asked him for a list, he really had to think about it.  There wasn't much on his list!  So I'm not worried that he's getting a world view of Christmas.

But I want him to know that God created our family to be three.  Just the three of us.  And the three of us are complete, just as we are.  We don't need acceptance from man.  We've been accepted into the family of God, and that's all we need. 

If I wanted people here on Christmas because I wanted to serve and love them, then that would be great.  But at the barest part of my soul I have to admit that I want people here because I feel "less than" without them.  I don't want my son to see that. 

If infertility taught me anything, it should be that God gives what he gives when he gives and it's always perfect.  He has blessed us - literally - a million times over with Samuel, and while we wanted more children, and tried for more children, God had a different plan.  For me to need to use this day as a way to validate my "only" child and myself is inexcusable.

So what's it all about?  Everything, every day, every moment is only and always about God.  But he allows it to be about other things, too.  It is about family.  It's about MY family.  And we are enough.