I Worshiped God Today

I worshiped God today.

It's Sunday.  The Lord's day.  The day I always go to church.  The day I always worship.  The day I lead.  The day I serve.  The day I sing. 

The problem was . . . I didn't feel it today.  I didn't feel like worshiping, I didn't feel like leading, I didn't feel like serving.  I didn't feel like singing.  I didn't feel anything today. 

First thing this morning, I had a "preteen" issue at home.  As soon as I got to church, I had doubts about my top and felt self-conscious.  In Sunday School, I ripped my skirt.  After class, I realized an event I had planned for tomorrow wasn't going to work and I was going to have to cancel.  By the time I got to the platform to sing with the praise team, I was done. 

But even without all that, I didn't feel it.  I didn't have that excitement to go to church like a normally do.  I didn't want to see my friends and family, fellowship with each other while we fellowship with God.  I just didn't want any of it.  

And so I worshiped God today. 

I have this spot that I like to look at when I sing at church.  It's up to my right, where the wall meets the ceiling.  I like to imagine that the roof of the church opens up, the clouds roll back, and it's just me and God, face to face.  I am often able to block out everyone and everything, and just focus on him.  Intimate worship, just God and me. 

But not today.  I couldn't block anything out.  I couldn't compartmentalize.  Emotionally I felt dull.  Mentally I felt tired.  Spiritually I felt drained.  I even felt strange physically.  So what did I do?

I worshiped God today.  Anyway.

I closed my eyes.  I raised my hands.  I focused on him.  But I didn't feel different.  I didn't get emotional and break down in tears.  I didn't have a moment of mental clarity.  I didn't receive some spiritual call.  Absolutely nothing changed.  And nothing has changed still.

Yet I worshiped God today. 

Worshiping only when I feel like it puts the emphasis on me.  And that's backwards.  Worshiping in order to feel better also puts the emphasis on me.  Also backwards.  Whether or not we worship has nothing to do with us.  It's only about him - God.  We worship because he is worthy.  We worship because we need to.  We worship because we are told to.  We worship because we have no other choice. 

Praise the Lord!

Praise the Lord from the heavens;

praise him in the heights!

Praise him, all his angels;

praise him, all his hosts!

Praise him, sun and moon,

praise him, all you shining stars!

Praise him, you highest heavens,

and you waters above the heavens!

Let them praise the name of the Lord!

For he commanded and they were created.

And he established them forever and ever; he gave a decree, and it shall not pass away.   Psalm 148-1-6

I worshiped God today.  I didn't feel like it.  But I worshiped.  Not because he encourages it, but because he commands it.  Not because he needs it, but because I need it.  Not because of who I am, but because of who he is.

I worshiped God today.