Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done.  1 Corinthians 13:5, NCV

It's interesting to me how the first two characteristics of love are written positively (love is patient, love is kind) and then are contrasted with the last six, which describe what love is not.  I wonder why Paul wrote them this way.  One thought I had is that contrasting the characteristics highlights them a bit more.  

Saying what love is not inspires us to explore exactly what those words mean.  So let's look at today's descriptions.   First, love is not rude.  We live in a rude age - insults pass as humor, putdowns disguise feelings, and intimacy is distracted by teasing. 

Some families are built in this way.  The only way they can show "love" is by insulting each other.  But this is not love, this is familiarity.  True love rises above the tendency to vault ourselves up while holding others down.  That is what rudeness is.

One of the antonyms for rude is kind.  Does that sound familiar?  Paul is reiterating again that love is characterized, hallmarked even, by our behavior.  When we hide our love with teasing or insults, we are either very faulty in our love behavior or we don't know how to really love.

Love means that we set aside our tendencies, our pasts, our family behavior, to ride above our fears and love freely.  When we have God's love, Christ's love running through us, we don't have to be afraid.  We can love, and love, and love.

Once again, we cannot love without rudeness without God's love coursing through our veins.  However, with God, we can love the most unlovable, the most vulnerable, the most irritating.  We can love the rudest people with love that rises above rudeness.  We can love them - truly love them - with kindness and joy.

There's so much to this verse, I'm just going to take a few days to cover it!  Tomorrow:  love is not selfish.

Love Is . . .

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  1 Corinthians 13:4

It is hard to read these verses about love and not think about how faulty my love is!  Yet I remember, God does not call me to action that he will not prepare me to take.  He is always working on me, in me, and through me.  He is developing the love within me that he ultimately wants to see.  (He's so cool!!!!)

I could think that this part of this verse doesn't apply to me, because if I was going to envy or boast, it wouldn't be with people I love.  If I was going to be proud of my accomplishments or something that I am, I wouldn't boast to my friends.

But . . . love is not just for my friends.  It's not just for my family.  So when I look across the room and see someone who has more than I do, and I'm envying, even if it's someone I don't know - I'm still called to love them.  I'm called to love everyone.  The person at Walmart, at the gas station, on the street corner.  Everywhere I look, everyone I see.

And yet, if I'm being completely honest, I would have to admit that envy, boasting, and pride are part of my love relationships, too.  Am I ever jealous of my friend's success?  Sure.  Do I ever brag about myself to them?  Yes.  Do I ever allow pride to inhibit me from sincerity or true humility?  Uhhhh, yes . . .

So if love is NOT those things, that means love is the opposite of those things.  I looked up antonyms for these words.  The opposite of envy?  Contentedness.  The opposite of boast?  Modesty.  The opposite of pride?  Humility. 

So love is content.  It's modest.  It's humble.  First of all, I think of how these words describe Christ.  Second, there is no way I can develop those qualities on my own.  Only through Christ living in me.  And finally, a reminder.  God will not require characteristics in us that he will not develop.

Isn't he cool?

Love is Kind

Love is kind . . . 1 Corinthians 13:4

The LORD appeared to us in the past^, saying:  “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

We can allow ourselves to be tempted to shortchange kindness as simple manners.  But kindness is more than that.

Kindness gives blessings when insulted.  Kindness offers mercy instead of justice.  Kindness is courage in the face of hurt.

To only love those who love us, to give kindness to those who give it first - that is not love.  True love, true kindness, blesses and anoints the receiver with a spirit that is everlasting.  That doesn't fail.  That kind of love is a choice. 

It's not an easy or natural choice.  But it is still our choice.  When we give our children forgiveness, it spreads over them like warm oil.  This kind of love truly spreads - across people, families, communities and nations. 

Kindness is not the ability to be a doormat.  It is not letting people walk all over you.  Kindness is not weak, it is strong.  It's being strong enough to say, the Lord will take care of me.  So I'm not afraid of you.  I can still have the courage to love you, no matter what you do.

Do you have true kindness?  Can you overlook the faults and weaknesses of others to help them draw closer to God and his love?  Can you help them discover his true, deep, fathomless kindness?

You can, if you begin with him.  His loving kindness will show you the way.

Love is Patient

Love is patient . . . 1 Corinthians 13:4a

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.  2 Peter 3:9

What does it mean to be patient?  The dictionary's definition is: bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like; quietly and steadily persevering or diligent.

We also see from the Bible that patience is a fruit of the Spirit, and a characteristic of God.  Patience is a virtue, we've been told, and a charming personality trait.  But, let's be honest - are you patient?  Do you bear annoyances with calm?  Can you quietly and steadily persevere? 

For me, looking at this characteristic of love, it is easy to see the ways my love is imperfect, the countless times I am impatient, not showing love. And it's also easy to look at patience as a virtue God gave to some, and not to others.  So now I must turn to this question:  Would God require a characteristic in us without equipping us for it?

The short answer is, no.  God calls us to be patient and give us the tools to learn patience.  Please note that patience is not automatic; few of us are born naturally patient.  But it can and should be learned! The wonderful thing about this loving God we serve is that what he calls us to do, he helps us do.  What he expects of us, he helps us with.  He calls us to love and then gives us his love to help us love him and others!  It's a cycle that I cannot fathom, that no other god or religion can claim.

So yes, if you are loving, you will be patient.  It doesn't mean that you won't blow it sometimes, but as you grow in Christ, you will blow it less often.  As you grow in Christ, you will develop patience . . . and then more . . . and then more . . . and then more.  

I've come to realize that this love chapter describes a process.  Love is not instant; love is a building.  It begins with a foundation in Christ, and then the first floor is built with patience.  To me, this might be the hardest aspect of love to develop!  Perhaps that is why Paul listed it first.  If you begin with patience - with others, and with yourself as you are building your love! - the other characteristics will come.

What is Love?

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."  1 Corinthians 1:1-3

I've been thinking much about love this year.  As Valentine's Day approaches, I've decided to share my thoughts and study about what love really means.

This whole thought process started in Romans, actually.  I have a Bible study on Monday mornings that spent 1 1//2 hours each week, from June to December, on the book of Romans.  In the 12th chapter, Paul says that love must be sincere (verse 9).  The Message version puts it this way:  Love from the center of who you are.

That's an amazing turn of phrase, isn't it?  For those of us who may think we don't love well, or enough, or maybe as 1 Corinthians 13 describes love, have an answer to our dilemma:  we must love from the center of who we are.  From our core.  If our love core is not based on God - who is love - there is no way we can truly love.

Look with me at the verses above, in 1 Corinthians.  If I don't have love, I am nothing.  I can have wealth.  Fame.  Talent.  I can have everything . . . but if I cannot give - and receive! - love, it's all worthless.

As I grow older, I realize that goals are great, ambition has it's place - but none of that makes the ultimate difference.  It's love, baby.  Loves changes the world.

I hope you'll stay with me over the next few weeks as we explore love, together.