What Is Friendship?

I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately. Friendships change through the years, don't they? You drift apart, you grow together, your relationship - like life itself - ebbs and flows.

But is that how God has designed friendship? You know, I've been told, if you have one true friend, you are blessed. But is that what God intends?

I've been reading Proverbs 18 this week, which describes the attributes of a perfect friend. A true friend is selfless. Full of wisdom in word and deed. They work hard, for themselves and others (see selfless!). They are humble, not seeking the limelight for themselves (see selfless!). A friend listens first, speaks second (see - aww, you get the picture).  They have discernment. And they are committed to the relationship.  The last verse says that a friend is closer than a brother.

This may sound like a difficult job description. But as Christians, as the church, the body of Christ... Aren't we already supposed to be these things? And if that is true, then why are true friends so rare?

As the body of Christ, we should be surrounded by selflessness and wisdom. By hard work and humility. By listening ears and discerning hearts.

I look back over my own friendships through the years, and I mourn the friends I have lost. I pray that I did all I could to be a good friend. Yet I know I have fallen short. I wonder if that is why Solomon wrote this proverb in the first place... Perhaps he had lost a friend he considered very dear.

Jesus added to Solomon's job description. In John 15:13-15a and 17: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay his life down for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends... This my command: Love each other. "

If you are a part of the body of Christ, I think you are called to be a friend. A true, good friend, with the attributes listed above. 

So I think now, the natural progression in the discussion is self-examination. How are your friendships? How can you grow? What can you change?

More thoughts later in the week.