Christmas

Ahhh . . . Christmas.  That wonderful time of the year, where families gather, dreams are fulfilled, and magic happens.  The perfect gifts are exchanged, the memories are priceless, and every picture tells a beautiful story.

Whatever.

One thing I'm learning this Christmas, more than ever before?  It's a marketing ploy.  It's a fictional creation of Madison Avenue.  Most of what we do for Christmas, the traditions and important rituals, aren't meaningful to Christmas at all.  They've been derived from old movies, stories and Norman Rockwell pictures. 

We had a family Christmas today.  No chestnuts were roasted - I don't even know what chestnuts are!  There was no roaring fire - I don't have a fireplace.  I didn't bake a huge ham or turkey - we had lasagna.  We didn't sing carols or even read the Christmas story.  (Oops.  Good job, Pastor.)  

We talked.  We ate.  We played.  We ate.  We watched football.  We ate.  We talked again.  And oh yeah, we opened presents.  We watched each other open one gift each, and we ooo'ed and ahh'ed.  Then we just went for it.

And we laughed.  We laughed and laughed and laughed. 

We played jokes on each other, or tried to.  (Yes, I encouraged my child to draw with a Sharpie on his sleeping uncle's glasses.  What of it?  And yes, when the phone rang, I let this same child answer it, saying, "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?)  We spent time with family we haven't seen for awhile.  And it was great.  I truly had a great time.

It didn't look like a Christmas postcard or a Hallmark special or "It's a Wonderful Life."  It looked like our life.  It was joyful.  And that's Christmas.  Joy began in a manger, in a new little family who had nothing but each other, and God. 

That's us.  And I like it. 

We still have two Christmases to go.  This year, Christmas Day is going to be just the three of us.  At first I was a little sad about that.  But now I'm thinking . . . if Christmas can begin with a family of three, I think I can be content with that. 

That's us.  And I like it.

Merry Christmas!

Today I Will Be Different

I go through stages in my life.  Cycles, if you will.  There is one stage that continues to rear its ugly head.  I never quite overcome it or get through it.  I can put it to the side, try to forget about it for awhile, but somehow, some way, it always comes back.  And I struggle through it again.

It's a stage of self-destruction.  Of self-loathing, almost.  It's a stage of thinking, thinking, thinking of myself.  Not in a big-headed way.  Actually, almost the opposite.  But still, it's a self-centered thing.  It is a stage where I wallow.  I think of myself, of my faults and weaknesses, incessantly.  I have a hard time getting to the other side of it.

Every morning, I wake up and I think, today I will be different.  Today I will think differently.  I will act differently.  I will BE different.

It's not long before I realize that today is just like every other day.  I still bit my kid's head off.  I still was lazy.  I still accomplished nothing.  I still ate too much.  Drank too much diet pop.  Spent too much time on Pinterest.

And I get so frustrated with myself.  I mean, SO frustrated.  That loathing I mentioned earlier?  Oh yeah.  That's the word.  And so I go to bed, and I think, tomorrow I will be different.  And in the morning I wake up and I think, today's the day.  Today I will be different.

And the cycle begins again.  Aristotle said, "We are what we continually do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."  I read things like that, and I think, crap!  I have no hope!  Because my habits are horrible! 

So tonight I was thinking about all this (notice that I am clearly in that self-centered stage right now) and I wondered two things:  what would happen if I just quit trying to be different?  And, what if I'm just different right now?

As a Christian, what would happen if I just quit trying to be what I think I'm supposed to be, and literally, moment-by-moment, with a fervent zeal and all-encompassing passion - turn to God?  What if I ask him what to wear, what to eat, what to do?  What if I just admit that I am weak and stupid and honestly cannot handle my own life?  What if I just run to him like a little child, confessing my faults and weaknesses and self-loathing and self-hatred and just bawl like the stinking baby that I am?

Or . . .

What if I took the attitude that I'm not going to be different all day . . . but just for this moment.  What if I just go slowly, take a deep breath, realize that not every sensation has to be experienced right now.  What if I realized that I can stop myself from biting at my loved ones but I can't take it back once it's done?  Or how about if I realized that chocolate will still taste like chocolate tomorrow?  Or what if I remember that Pinterest, for all its inspiration, just makes me feel frustrated?  What if I take all of those individual moments and just respond differently . . . once?  By turning over my choices and my actions and my habits to God?  Moment by moment.

Clearly, either reaction to my life takes me in the same direction - to my maker and my creator.  But doing the same thing - going through this same self-destructive cycle - simply has me running in circles. 

So can I combine these two thoughts?  Can I resolve to stop trying, and at the same time, turn each moment into a God sighting? 

This is me being raw, completely transparent:  I don't know if I can do it.  I'm so deeply ingrained in the self cycle that I don't know if I can stop.  But I do know this:  putting it out there is a good first step.  Inviting God to be the impetus is good.  Narrowing my focus to Him and not to me - that works. 

But for how long?

Because that's the real thing, right?  We take on new habits, resolutions - especially this time of year.  We resolve to eat right, exercise, love our neighbor, give more.  But in a few weeks . . . here comes the old us again.

Maybe I am the only one who does this.   I have a feeling that I am not, but even if I am, that's ok.  I'm putting it out there.  I'm taking a step. 

Maybe the battle isn't won in big leaps and bounds, but in one small step.  One step at a time.

Breathing Room

Merry Christmas!  It seems like forever since I've posted.  Life has overwhelmed me with it's busyness.  Today, I had an unexpected break:  a breakfast I had planned had to be postponed due to the weather.  So ... I. Did. Nothing. 

Ahhhhh . . .

Ahhhhh . . .

Every year, I put myself through the same thing.  I can't just "decorate" for Christmas.  I have to DECORATE.  I don't have decorations that are already put together; a centerpiece for a table, a pre-made tree, etc.  No, no - I have to create it all.  It's different every year.

Every year I focus so much on the decorations I wonder if I'm wasting my time.
Every year I focus so much on the external that by the end of the season I have ... internal injuries.
Every year.  Every. Single. Year.

I usually begin planning my Christmas in September.  I write and rewrite lists, ideas, dreams.  I start bugging my husband about projects.  And none of this has anything to do with gifts - it's all about the house!

This year, I didn't have the time.  Taking two classes this fall, serving in ministry, being a wife and a mom - I just didn't have the time or energy to do the preparation.   Fast forward to Thanksgiving weekend.  My son, who usually loves all the decorating and tradition, dumped me for Grandma's house.  (Can you imagine??)  I pulled up my decorations from the basement, and I just couldn't make any decisions.  I couldn't make anything work.

Usually, after I get everything decorated, I will say something like, "It looks like Christmas threw up in here."  But this year, it doesn't.  This year, it looks kind of serene. 

This year, it looks kind of perfect.

I just came home a few minutes, say in my reclining chair in the living room, looked around, and exhaled.

Ahhhhh . . .

So this is it.  This is all that's going to happen.  Because you know what?  I'd rather decorate my heart than my home.  I realize I've taken pride - the wrong kind of pride - in how I decorate for Christmas.  I want my home to be a tool, a vehicle God can use to reach others.  And I'm pretty sure my great big God can do that whether it's perfectly decorated or not.  Even with some dust on the table and dirt on the floor.  

So I'm just going to keep exhaling.  Keep reveling in the moment, remembering that all this is about a tiny baby who was born to become a sacrifice, and a King.  My King.

I'm going to keep my heart pointed to Christ, my King.  And not pointed to my house.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you are all planning a warm and wonderful day tomorrow.

You know, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's got all of the food, with none of the pressure of the gifts, the decorating, the programs and parties. It's all about relaxing and enjoying time with family and friends.

But I know for some of you, anticipating spending time with family is difficult. Time with family can mean anxiety, distress, even bitterness and anger.

So how can you enjoy this day without stress?

There's only one way: Jesus. By giving thanks, not in some random way, but specifically to our God. Don't just talk about giving thanks. Truly offer your gratitude to God. Focusing on Him and His perfect presence and good gifts can make the mess just . . . go away.

Grandma might still be cranky. Uncle Bo might still be loud. Your sister Jessie might still be judgmental. But that's ok. You don't exist to please them. You exist to please an audience of One.

So today, as you prepare for tomorrow, may I encourage you just a little bit with this verse?

"With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the Lord:

'He is good;
his love toward Israel endures forever.'

And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the Lord..." Ezra 3:11.

The people were rejoicing because the foundation of the temple had been built and laid. The temple wasn't completed, just the foundation. And that is what the people rejoiced in.

You are the same. You aren't finished yet! But if you have built your life on the foundation of Jesus Christ, you already have everything you need.

Let the slings and arrows that may come your way fall to the side. Let the fighting roll off your back. Respond to insults with blessings. Be careful to guard your heart with the love of Jesus Christ so that anger and bitterness cannot find root within you.

We are loved and cherished! Our Great God has given us so many gifts! So dare to truly be grateful! And have a Happy, Happy Thanksgiving!

Here Comes the Judge

Our misunderstood Bible verse today if from Matthew 7:  "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you (verses 1 - 2)."

This verse has been used over and over again to defiantly throw sin in the face of others.  "Don't judge me" is really a heart's cry for "don't look at me".  "Don't inspect me."  And what that really means is, I'm afraid for you to look at me.  I'm afraid of what you will see.

Jesus is not telling us to turn our eyes away from sin.  He is not telling us to pretend that truth is not there.  He is not telling us to act as though the ugliness doesn't exist.  Nothing could be further from the truth!  Actually, he is telling us just the opposite. 

In fact, further down in the Sermon on the Mount recorded in Matthew 7, Jesus tells us to inspect the fruit of others so that we know what is good:   "Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them."  

You see, Jesus clearly defines the difference between judging and inspecting:  judging is condemning.  Inspecting is evaluating.  For example, I can say the same thing in two different ways, and mean completely different things.  I can say, "awww, you look tired" in a sympathetic voice, and this shows that I have inspected you and I have evaluated that you are tired.  Or, I can say, "ewww, you look tired!" in a manner that shows you I think you look bad!

It is important as Christians that we judge as evaluation.  That we inspect the works of others - not for the purpose of condemnation, but for the recognition of good or evil.  Jesus didn't say that WE will be the ones who cut down the bad tree and throw it in the fire.  He simply said that we will be able to recognize the heart and intentions of the tree by looking at its fruit. 

So we do have to judge, if you define it as evaluating.  However, judging for the purposes of choosing life or death for others is not our job.  That is only God's job.  Jesus could not have been clearer about the consequences of judging unwisely:  we will be judged in that same way. 

I can be tough and harsh on others sometimes.  And I certainly don't want to be judged that way.  I really want to learn to see others the way God does:  through the lens of Jesus' redemptive blood.  And that is the key, don't you think?

The key is your intent.  Are you looking at someone in order to put them down, to consider yourself better than them, maybe even to make them feel bad?  That's the problem.  On the other hand, are you looking at someone to determine their influence on you?  On your children?  On the world?  Are you looking at someone to see how you can walk beside them, how you can carry their burdens?  

Why is the question:  why are you judging?  What are you trying to gain?  Jesus said that we will not gain heaven by judging others.  And that should be enough of a warning for us to stop dead in our tracks if we are struggling with judging!

To sum it all up:  judgment is God's job.  Inspection is ours.  Know the difference.

Where's the Good?

Continuing on with a look at the verses that are misused or misunderstood, here is our next one, and it's very popular and well known.  Romans 8:28:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

This verse in no way says that God will only bring us good things.  But that's how it is used and claimed today, and it's so wrong.

I want to make sure I continually emphasize the important of reading the Bible in context.  To take a verse here or there and apply it as you want is to create a false religion that is based on selfish wants and desires.  God does not exist to please you.  You exist to please Him.  Our theology is upside down when we search the Bible looking for verses that justify us or make us "feel better."  That is not what the Bible is for.

So before I go back to Romans, what is the Bible for?  What is your answer to that?  I would say that the Bible exists to point us to God - through history, stories, songs, letters, poetry, visions.  Every single word in the Bible is about God - not Moses, Abraham, John the Baptist or Paul.  It's the story of God.  It's truth.  It's life.

So what is Romans 8:28 about, anyway?  Let's look at the verse in the context of the passage.  Romans 8 is one of my favorite chapters in the whole Bible.  It's actually the first place I send someone new to the Word.  I don't ask them to read an entire book, I just say to start with a chapter.  Because this is an extraordinary one!  It starts with "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" to  "Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" to "If God is for us, who can be against us?" to nothing "will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

What hope!

But specifically, let's look at the ten verses that precede 28:

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

You see, the context of this passage isn't about us.  It's about God.  It means that though we are suffering - whether through our choices or others' - God will make that suffering good.  Not because we deserve it.  Not because we are worthy.  Only because God himself is good.

Be careful in allowing yourself to define what good is.  A child who is sick, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job - those things are not good on the surface.  Only God - the source of good - can take the difficult, sometimes downright horrible circumstances of our lives and turn them into circumstances of holiness and redemption.

Remember the promise Isaiah shared with Israel:

To all who mourn in Israel he will give: beauty for ashes; joy instead of mourning; praise instead of heaviness. For God has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory.

 God doesn't necessarily give us good things.  He makes our things good.  And that's huge difference.

I Can't Handle It!

So many times I have heard people say, God won't give me more than I can handle.  And then I've also heard others be frustrated and angry with God, because they felt like they were at the end of their ropes and God wasn't following through on his promises.

The problem is, that's not what God promised.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."  

I assume most people are referring to that verse when they think about not being given more than they can handle.  But there are a few important details that you must notice:

1. This verse is about temptation.  Not about life circumstances.  
2. This verse doesn't say that we decide how much we can take.  
3. This verse is not about us.  It's about him.

Be careful about your expectations about God.  Be careful that you really know his word, his promises.  This verse tells us that our temptations are not bigger than God - that no matter how we are tempted, he can handle it.  He is bigger.  He will provide the right path.

We are never alone in our temptations.

God and God alone is the source of our strength.  When we are tempted, we must turn to him.  But notice the other thing about this verse - it doesn't leave open the possibility that we will NOT be tempted.  We will be - that is fact.  But Paul does say that it is NOT POSSIBLE that we will be over-tempted.  Tempted beyond our ability.  Tempted beyond our capacity.  There is no such thing.

God will always be there, will always be our strength, will always provide the way.  But that does not mean that he will not give us more than we can handle.  Because he will!  Only when we reach the end of ourselves do we reach for him.  Jesus says to give him our burdens (Matthew 11).  Paul says that when we are weak, he is strong (2 Corinthians 12).  

When we are finished, he has just begun.  That has nothing to do, in no way means that he will allow stuff in our lives.  Because that's just when he is getting good!

What is a Promise?

I thought I'd spend some posts writing on promises of God that we misunderstand.

That's right.

You may think that I'm awfully uppity to say that.  To think that we are handling God's promises wrongly.  But I am saying that, and I do think that. 

We choose to take God's promises at face value, and we don't really look at them.  We don't read them in context.  We take out of each promise what makes us feel good and then we disregard the rest

For example . . .

Jeremiah 29:11.  Everyone knows this verse, and it's written on almost every graduation card and gift at the Christian bookstore!  "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Most people assume that verse means God wants them to be happy.  That he has a successful career planned for them.  A career with money and power.  A marriage.  Children.  A two-car garage in a newer model home.

Ummm, no.  Not so.  Read the verse in its context:  This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

The Hebrews had been in exile.  They had disobeyed God, and He punished them.  The real promise of this passage is that God's great love for us never ends, but His discipline does.  He may punish us for a season, but he will be there when it is completed.

Notice also that God's promises often come with an expectation of us:  you will seek me and find me WHEN you seek me with all your heart.  All we have to do is come to him with our everything.   When we do, he does the rest of the work.  Look at the words in his promise:  Prosper.  Hope.  Listen.  Gather.  All the things that HE does for US.

Notice also that this verse does not say God will give us whatever we want.  It does not say he will make us happy.  He will give us hope, and that hope is in the knowledge that he has planned our future, he is in our future, he IS our future.  

Please don't make the mistake of believing this promise at face value.  Read it completely.  Understand it in context.  Remember that, as Nancy Leigh DeMoss says, it's not our happiness he's concerned with.  It's our holiness.

Another verse later in the week! 

Quiet Confidence

I'm a talker.  Anyone who knows me, knows that.  I'll talk to anyone.  About anything.  I've embarrassed my kid by initiating conversations with strangers.  On a bus.  In Chicago.  About a purse.  (What?  It was a cute purse!)

I'm a teacher, and a pastor.  Talking is an implied prerequisite for those positions.  So much to say, so little time to say it.  Almost every class I teach, from prenatal to CPR to Bible studies, ends up being too short and I wish I had more time to talk.

I'm starting to wonder if I just like to hear myself.
I'm starting to wonder if I'm beginning to get really, really sick of myself.

Isaiah 32:17 says, "The work of righteousness will be peace, And the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever" (NKJV).  The Revised Standard Version puts it this way:  "And the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust for ever."

The result of righteousness is quietness.

Now I know that Isaiah was speaking towards a cultural, national quietness - a time of peace.  But I think this verse is applicable on a personal level, too.  Because here's the thing - have you ever told a lie?  I can always tell when someone is lying because they won't stop talking!  It's like they think (ok, "they" is me, I've done it too) that if they are able to pile more and more made up details, the story will be believable.

But when you speak truth, it doesn't take a lot of words.  You don't have to make anything up.  You just simply sit in quiet, righteous assurance.  

When Jesus was accused at his trial, he didn't stutter for words.  He didn't talk fast.  He didn't talk his way out of it.  Instead, he barely spoke at all!  He showed such righteousness, such quiet confidence.  He knew who he was.  He knew whose he was.  He knew what would happen.  No amount of talking would have changed anything.

And so, I wonder . . . can I rest in the confidence of the righteousness God has ordained for me, the holiness he is producing in me?  

I recently spent time away at a women's conference.  I went alone, took no one with me, to a retreat of over 2,000 women.  I barely spoke to anyone for two days, other than "Good morning," "Hello" ... stuff like that.  I was really, really quiet.

And I heard from the Lord.  

I wonder if the purpose of quietness is to listen better, to hear more.  To focus on God more, and me less.  

Yes, I'm sure that's the purpose.  

How about you?  Could you take a day, set aside some time, and sit in quietness?  Can you listen for God's voice?  Can you be confident, trust in his peace, as you refrain from talking?  

If you decide to try, let me know.  I'd love to hear the blessings you received as a result.

The Search for Significance

I see so many people today, women and men, who are chasing a dream.  A dream life, one that fulfills and thrills and fills them.  But that dream isn't reality.  What they are finding instead is that they are filled to their emotional, mental, and intellectual brims with emptiness, empty promises that the newest book or cause or school of thought couldn't deliver.  And then next year, after that book or cause or thought didn't work, there is something new, something that promises to bring what the old way didn't bring. 

I see so many people who are exhausted.

They have nothing to give externally because internally they are depleted.  They've filled their lives with so many things - mind you, I'm not just talking about material things - but so much stuff that they are exhausted trying to keep up with it, trying to take care of everything.

What kind of things am I talking about? 

First of all, know that when I say they, I mean me!!  I see this as a universal problem for us all, at least in this part of the world.  So what kind of things?  Consider this:  We overschedule ourselves because being busy means we are important.  We serve and we give and we donate because giving means we are good.  We buy and we spend and we accumulate because stuff  means that we are successful.

And yet we are unhappy.  Frustrated.  And again, exhausted. 

I think we know we are doing this, and yet we keep struggling on, hoping and praying that the next thing we try will be the thing that makes us better, that makes us at least feel better . . .  that makes us just feel. 

What are we looking for?

We are searching for significance.  For validation.  We want the world to acknowledge that we exist, that we are here.  We realize that we might not cure cancer or create world peace.  Yet still, we long to matter.  To contribute. 

The worst part of this tragedy is that Christian men and women struggle with this same search.  We don't understand why we are here, what we were created for, what we are meant to do.

If you've been to one of my retreats or talks lately, you've heard this theme.  We were created for three things:  to love God, to love each other, and to make disciples.  THAT makes us significant.  When we love our creator, and he loves us back, that's what makes us special.  When we treat each other with loving-kindness, the kind of love that cannot be explained away, that creates peace.  When we share that love with people we don't yet know, we matter. 

I believe that God has specific, special plans for each one of us.  But you can't start there.  You begin at the beginning, right where Jesus said:  Love God.  Love your neighbor.  Go and make disciples. When you are doing those things, the rest of the plan will come.

Are you significant?  Yes.  Are you valuable?  Infinitely. 

Only in God will you find your true worth.  And only your true worth will last.  There's no book, no speaker, no teacher who can give you value.  Only the One who created your value in the first place can show you what it is. 

Stop searching.  Start loving.  Keep going.

That's the key.

What I Know About Motherhood

The sentimental mothers day cards could lead me to believe that motherhood is a journey of love and joy, of sweetness and hope, of purpose and completeness.

That's a bunch of hooey.

Today is my only child's 11th birthday. While there has been lots of love and joy, etc., there's been a lot of other stuff, too.

There's been frustration and irritation. Days when I've wondered, why is he still talking? How many messes do I have to clean up? And my favorite and most recent question: since when did farting become cool?

There have many, many days of staying in our pajamas. Of wishing time would pass quickly.

And it has. It's passed quickly, and I realize that my time with him is almost gone.

I'm a sentimental person, the kind of mom who scrapbooks and takes pictures and proclaims every moment on Facebook. But that's not what motherhood is.

Motherhood is poopy diapers. It's 3 am feedings, cleaning spit up, feeling hopeless from lack of sleep.

Motherhood is watching first steps, hearing first words, laughing at first giggles.

Motherhood is playing with dolls and trucks. It's saying, you'll have to play by yourself, Mommy has to do dishes/laundry/housework. Mommy needs to hide in the bathroom just to get a moment's peace!

Motherhood is grades, good and bad. Motherhood is fear. Worry. Guilt. Second guessing. Worry. Letting go. Holding on. Worry.

Motherhood is trusting God, all over again, every time. It's calling out to Him when worry robs you of rest. It's praying  and pleading for his/her/their future. It's praying for their friends. For their friends' friends. For their friends' parents. For anyone who could ever be an influence on your child.

It's praying for their spouse. Even now. When boys are gross and girls have cooties.

I don't think motherhood is fulfilling. Because that feeling of fulfillment tends to come and go, based on behavior and obedience and all the times you second guess yourself about whether or not you are a good mother, doing the right thing, guiding the right way.

I can only find my fulfillment through Christ. But I believe that only God could have given me this child. I was born to be his mother, and no one else, should anything ever happen to him, will mother him the same way I do. With laughter and creativity and joy. And yes, with irritation and frustration and that blech feeling that just doesn't have a name.

I can only find my fulfillment through Christ. And if I do nothing else as his mother, if he doesn't grow up to be President of the United States (which is my goal), this is one area in which I cannot fail: he, too, will only find fulfillment through Christ. Not sports, not girls, not work. God and God alone.
I write all this because i need to say that sometimes motherhood stinks. Sometimes, it's the worst. And I am the worst mother.

But thank God, it doesn't stay there. If that's not a metaphor for the Christian life, I don't know what is. Sometimes the Christian life stinks - it's hard, it's work, and we have to clean up someone else's poop.

But it doesn't stay there. It gets better. And better and better.

Just like motherhood.

Thank you, oh God, for teaching me about you by teaching me about myself. For reflecting all around me.

And thank you for this child, who is more than halfway to manhood. Who makes me laugh and cry and laugh again. Thank you for making me responsible for him, and for giving me the blessing of teaching him about you!

As We Go

This week I wrote about friendship and I'd like to continue those thoughts today.

I wrote about how every Christian should be known as a good friend, because the attributes described in Proverbs 18 should already exist in Christians, even while being continually cultivated.

Somehow my mind moved from that thought to the Great Commission found in Matthew 28: go and make disciples.

I learned a few years ago that the actual translation from the original Greek word means "in your going about." I love that! It shows me that not only missionaries are called to make disciples. Not just those called to a foreign land, but all of us. Every day. In our daily going about... To the store, to our jobs, to our schools.

One of our jobs as Christians is to make disciples as we go about our day. And I had an aha! moment as I considered the depth of what that really meant.

Jesus said we are his friends when we honor his commands. He also said, as you go, make disciples. In other words, introduce people to me. Help them get to know me. Show them who we are to each other.

Isn't that the greatest act of friendship? To introduce strangers to our Friend?

Friendship is work. It's hard sometimes. Yet as we are given the privilege and honor of being called into friendship with Jesus Christ, so are we called to pull others into that same friendship.

What is my point? Here it is: as I write this, I am sitting in a Mexican restaurant in Indianapolis. I find myself looking up, making eye contact, smiling at complete strangers. That's my "going about." I have this wonderful, perfect Friend. There are all kinds of ways I can introduce him to others. One of those ways is simply being friendly- in other words, friend-like.  Yes, to complete strangers!

As you "go about" today, can you show your friendship with Christ? Are you moved to look beyond yourself and into the hearts of others?

As you go about... In whatever you do... Make disciples. Make friends. Be a friend. To whomever you see.

What Is Friendship?

I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately. Friendships change through the years, don't they? You drift apart, you grow together, your relationship - like life itself - ebbs and flows.

But is that how God has designed friendship? You know, I've been told, if you have one true friend, you are blessed. But is that what God intends?

I've been reading Proverbs 18 this week, which describes the attributes of a perfect friend. A true friend is selfless. Full of wisdom in word and deed. They work hard, for themselves and others (see selfless!). They are humble, not seeking the limelight for themselves (see selfless!). A friend listens first, speaks second (see - aww, you get the picture).  They have discernment. And they are committed to the relationship.  The last verse says that a friend is closer than a brother.

This may sound like a difficult job description. But as Christians, as the church, the body of Christ... Aren't we already supposed to be these things? And if that is true, then why are true friends so rare?

As the body of Christ, we should be surrounded by selflessness and wisdom. By hard work and humility. By listening ears and discerning hearts.

I look back over my own friendships through the years, and I mourn the friends I have lost. I pray that I did all I could to be a good friend. Yet I know I have fallen short. I wonder if that is why Solomon wrote this proverb in the first place... Perhaps he had lost a friend he considered very dear.

Jesus added to Solomon's job description. In John 15:13-15a and 17: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay his life down for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends... This my command: Love each other. "

If you are a part of the body of Christ, I think you are called to be a friend. A true, good friend, with the attributes listed above. 

So I think now, the natural progression in the discussion is self-examination. How are your friendships? How can you grow? What can you change?

More thoughts later in the week.

Beauty

Today I shared the following thoughts on Facebook:

I love the beach, the vast expanse of ocean, the smells, the sounds. I love the mountains, the peaks and valleys filled with nature, touched by the clouds.

But today, as I look around outside . . . the sky is the prettiest shade of blue. The clouds are insanely white, such a contrast to this deep blue. The trees are just barely touched with shades of yellow, orange and red. The corn - oh, the corn! Stalks taller than me, golden yellow tinged still with green. The rolling hills around my house, the wildflowers overflowing on the side of the road.

Thank you, God, for the gifts around me, the beautiful setting in which I live, that reveals your character to me.

I wouldn't live anywhere else.

I really get frustrated when I hear people say that they hate where they live.  Or they hate certain kinds of weather.  There is beauty everywhere you go, everywhere you look.  As long you look!

Psalm 118:24 says, "This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it."  (NKJV)  I love that verse.  Today I looked it up and read it in other versions.  Check this out:

NIV:  The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad.
Message:  This is the very day God acted—let’s celebrate and be festive!

I love it!  The Lord made this day - he has already done it - he has acted - whatever it is you are looking for or been praying for - this is the day!  You might not see the answer today, but it's this.

So don't fall into the temptation to sell your joy - your rejoicing - for the price of a temperate on the weather map or the dot on the map.  Just be glad in it!

That's What You Are

There's a song we sing at church, called You Are God Alone:
Unchangeable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable
That's what you are.


You are God alone, from before time began,
You were on your throne,
You are God alone,
And right now,
In the good times and bad,
You were on your throne ,
You are God alone.

Those aren't just lyrics, those are biblical standards.  "Lord, the God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth."  2 Kings 19:15

So let's think about this.  If we really lived as if God was God, ruler of the earth, over all kingdoms, from before time began . . . what we do different?  Would our lives changed?  Are our lives changed? 

Maybe you are already like this.  Nothing holds you back, because you've got God - this great big God who exists outside of the confines of time and space, who created all things, who rules over all.  You've got him on your side, and you go for everything, every time.

I wish I were you.

Because I hold myself back.  I lack faith.  I don't trust.  I go forward, on my own strength instead of His. 

So I need to remember.  It's not my strength, it's his.  He's the one who is unstoppable.  Unchangeable.  Unshakeable.  Definitely not me!

So it's time for me to go deeper, trust more, love more, do more.  That's my prayer for myself, and for you, too.

Unshakeable

I'm amazed at how easily I can be shaken.  Not my faith, necessarily, but my attitude.  If I don't protect myself, don't shade myself under his protective wings, in an instant - boom!  Attitude.

The little things of life get me all ruffled, the external circumstances affect my internal life.  That's not what I want.  I want to be strong, inside and out.  I want to be counted on, by others - of course - but by God. 

I want to be the kind of woman that can God can challenge, can use, can be proud of.
I want to be the kind of woman that scares the devil.
I want to be the kind of woman who laughs at the future (Proverbs 31).

But I can't be that kind of woman if the little things shake me.  If my attitude affects my heart. 

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you. 
Isaiah 54:10

So I'll focus on Him.  His ways.  His love.  And when I do that, I'm automatically stronger and more settled. 

How about you?  Do you ever feel that way?

Let Faith Arise

I'm such a bad blogger.  I start each week with high hopes of sharing thoughts but life gets in the way.  Here's to trying again!

Last time I talked about a song, and the faith written about in the lyrics.  What is faith?  Hebrews 11 says that faith is believing in what we hope for.  Faith is knowing that what we do not see is real. 

This definition flies against the world's definition:  I'll believe it when I see it.  Seeing is believing. 

So how do we as Christians show the world faith, this faith that is truly rock solid belief in what we do not see?

I think it involves both the individual and the body.  The body's faith is only as good as the individual's.  The individual's faith is strengthened by the body's. 

That means we have to be involved - with each other.  We have to know each other's struggles, bear each other's burdens, live in each other's lives.  And that's not easy.  It's messy, and hard, and uncomfortable.  But as we involve ourselves in each other's messiness, we grow.  We grow individually, and we grow together.  We grow in faith, in word, and in deed.  We learn to trust God as we trust each other. 

When we pull our lives together - on purpose - our faith becomes corporate.  In other words, as my faith grows as an individual, our faith grows together.  We rub off on each other - we really do!!

Hopefully this week I will be able to get back on here and talk about the shield of faith - as a body.  Blessings to you!

Let Faith Arise

We've been singing an awesome song at church lately called "I Lift My Hands" by Chris Tomlin.  The lyrics are below:

Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are a fortress for the weak

Let faith arise
Let faith arise

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever

Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Pure grace that washes over me

So let faith arise
Let faith arise
Open my eyes
Open my eyes

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever

I love this song.  It's been echoing in my head since Sunday.  (It doesn't hurt that we have a fantastic singer, Kim, to belt it out!) 

I'm struck by two things from this song, and I'm going to share over the next few posts as I turn things over in my mind.  The first is verse 2:  Be still, there is a river that flows from Calvary's tree.  The second is the bridge:  Let faith arise.

What is the river that flows from the tree?  It's the blood of Christ, right?  It flows down from the cross, washing over us.  But wait, that's a gross image, right?  Blood being a fountain for the thirsty?  Blood being grace?  Blood being something that washes us?

That's the foolishness of the gospel that Paul refers to in 1 Corinthians.  The wisdom of the gospel is foolish to the world. 

Oh boy.  There's so much more to say.  More later, and more about faith, too.

In the mean time, what are your thoughts on this? 

Random Post

It's been two months since I've last posted.  I get such big plans to post continually, but I just get behind.  So I have some random thoughts to share with whoever may be out there.

1.  Sometimes life drives me crazy and I don't understand the point.
2.  Sometimes PEOPLE drive me crazy and I don't understand their existence.
3.  Sometimes MEN drive me crazy . . . well, you're getting my point.

Moving on . . .

4.  I really, really loved the show Friends and I wish it were still on.  I know in a way it is, since there are repeats 20 times a day.
5.  I love living in the country.
6.  I love peanut butter ice cream.

What else . . .

7.  I've lost my decorating mojo and it makes me sad.
8.  I'm really in the mood for my friend Elicia's cupcakes.
9.  I'm in the mood for anything sweet.

So . . . those are my really deep thoughts for today.  Hope to catch up with you all soon!

Glory to God

Tonight I will receive a piece of paper that marks a massive change in my life. Tonight I'll be confirmed as a district pastor - not yet ordained, but working toward it. It's just a cheap piece of paper. And for most, it's not a big deal at all. But for me, it is a commemoration of what God has done in my life.

I find myself very emotional today, thinking of how far God has brought me, and how much he has changed me. I find myself recognizing that it's been all God, and the only thing I have done is said yes. When God said, Follow Me, I said yes. When He said, No . . . really. Follow Me. I said yes. When God said, I want this piece of you. And that piece. And that one too. I said yes . . . and yes . . . and yes. Not always quickly, not always easily, but I have kept saying yes and I do not regret it one bit.

Some of you, my Facebook friends, haven't known me long or maybe don't know me well. You don't know the bad, the twisted, the ugly. Some of you do know, and maybe you are as amazed as I am that God could take all that bad, and turn me around.

No one is more amazed than I am.

And so let me state emphatically today, holding nothing back - I serve a risen Savior! God is God, and there are no others. He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. He is all things, and He is everything. He is everything to me. He has changed me, He is still changing me, and I can't wait to see what changes He will make in me.

I'm crying as I write this, because I know where I was. And I know where I am now. And I know where I'm going. And I know that tonight, when all of us who receive these licenses turn around to face the audience, there will be applause. But my applause will be for God. Because it's all about Him.

And I can do nothing but be grateful and overwhelmed. He is so good to me.

Why?

Why is such a common question.  And the hardest.  And the one with the least answers.

I ask myself why all the time.  About the big stuff, and the little stuff. 

But to be honest, it's the little stuff that gets to me.  Does that make sense?  Like, why did that guy cut me off in traffic?  Why was the clerk mean to me in the check out line?  Why does my kid have an attitude when five minutes ago he was loving?

I'm a natural problem solver, so the whys some quick and easy for me.  I like to try to figure things out, to understand a situation, and master it.  But sometimes, there are no answers.  There is no understanding.  What do you do then?

The Sunday School answer is, trust God.  But that's soooooo much easier said than done, yes?  And besides, I'm not talking about God stuff.  I'm talking about little stuff. 

I have to constantly remind myself that God is all about the small stuff.  He's the ultimate detail, the ultimate planner, the ultimate problem solver.  And so when the guy cuts me off, instead of stewing about it, I can talk to God about it.  Oh!  I could even pray for him.  And I could remember the times when I've accidentally cut someone off.  And when the clerk is rude, I can return blessing for insult.  I can talk to God about it.  Oh!  I could even pray for her.  And I can remember the times I've been rude, because I was tired, or sick, or worried.

You see what I'm saying, right?  Maybe I'm weird, but it's the small stuff in life that gets me down.  It's trying to figure out why people do what they do.  That consumes way too much of my time and energy. 

Here's my new why:  Why let that stuff get me down?  Why let it drain me?  Why worry about that junk?  I believe I'll just try to let it go, and - here comes that Sunday School answer - really trust God. 

A Conversation with a Terrorist

This morning I had a thought.  I wondered what I would do if I lived in Watertown, Massachusetts.  I wondered what I would do if I ran into this 19-year-old young man who is responsible for so much death and destruction. 

What if we lived in a home there and answer a knock on the door.  It's a young man with a gun, who pushes his way inside.  He is injured and wants first aid.  You usher your children upstairs, to safety.  The young man promises not to hurt them if you help him.

You move him into your kitchen, get out your first aid supplies, and examine his wounds.  His face is set - obviously angry, obviously wild - but not afraid.  Part of your heart aches for him.  He's so young.  Does he have any idea what he's doing?  Does he understand that he has gone too far to come back?  Part of your heart, though, hates him.  Hates him for the turmoil he and his brother have caused.

You try to make him talk to you.  You ask him questions, but he will not answer.  His jaw is set tight, and his hard, angry eyes send you the message that he will not talk.  As you clean up the blood on his arms, his chest, your mind races and you pray for wisdom, for safety, for strength.

Finally you say, are you Muslim?  He nods.  You ask, why do you hate us?  He doesn't answer.  You try again.  Something in you needs to understand, to make sense of this.  So you say, who is your God?  He says, through teeth clenched with pain, There is no God but Allah. 

You ask again.  Why all of this?  Why the hate?  Why the murder of innocents?

Finally he reacts.  There are no innocents!

You push.  What about your brother?  Was he innocent?  He refuses to answer.  Did he need to die?  He says, everyone dies. 

Do you know you killed an innocent 8 year old boy?  He reacts.  There are no innocents!

What about your mother?  What about your father? 

He refuses to answer. 

You start to ask him another question and he shouts, Enough!  Enough!  No more talking.

You aren't a medical professional.  You clean up the blood as best you can, but you don't even know for sure what the problem is.  Was he shot?  Are these bullets?  Shrapnel?  You really don't know.  You tell him, I don't really know how to help you.  I've cleaned you up. I don't know what else to do. 

He stands up, grimacing.  You half expect a thank you, because you are so naïve to this kind of evil.  He stands for a moment, as if he is trying to decide what to do.  For the first time you notice a gun. 

You pray, and you are flooded with peace.  You pray for courage.  This could be your last chance.

God loves you, you say.  He stares at you, hard.  You are right that we are not innocent, you say.  We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  But he loves us anyway.  And he loves you.  And this path that you've chosen, it's not the path HE has chosen for you. 

He stares.  He jaw is clenched, his eyes are angry.  Shut up, he says.

You pray.  I will not shut up.  God loves you.  Even you.  Even now.   Stop this now and there may be a chance for you!

Shut up!  He screams.  He grabs his things and heads for the door.  At the door he hesitates, and your heart rejoices for an instant.  But he leaves, barreling out the door, running down the street. 

You lock the door.  You call for your children.  You turn to call the police.  And you wonder.

What if I had met him before all this happened? 
What if someone had told him that God loves him before he killed and wounded so many people?
What if I had had the opportunity to witness about the One True God last week?

Would I have done it?  Would I have noticed? 

As you call 911, your own heart both repents and rejoices and the tears flow as the adrenaline pulsates through your body.  Would you have noticed this boy a week ago?  Would you have talked to him about God?  Would you have seen his inner turmoil, slowed down, and stopped?

You can't help but wonder, how many opportunities have I missed? 

You can't help but pray, God - please - never ever let me miss an opportunity to tell others about you. 

Does God Cry?

I think I've changed my mind on my own personal theology.

This week has been overwhelming with bad news and tragedy.  First the bombings in Boston.  Then the letters filled with poison in D.C.  And now, this horrific fire and explosion in Texas. 

Are you, like me, wondering - what in the world is going on here?

I've said many times that God is not sitting on the sidelines of our lives, pacing up in heaven, wringing his hands with worry, wondering what will happen next.

No way.  God is beyond those things.  While he is capable of worry - he is capable of all things - since he is the one - the only one - who created all things, knows all things, is everywhere with everyone all the time - why should he worry?  God, my friends, has nothing to worry about!

So I haven't changed my mind about that. 

But I used to think that God doesn't grieve or cry, because of the reasons stated above. 

I think I have changed my mind about that!

There are a few reasons why.  First, we know that Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died.  You can make the argument that while Jesus is God, he is also man, so maybe the weeping was a result of his humanness.  However, we know that while Jesus was fully man, he in no way sinned or ever did ANYTHING that would separate him from God the Father.

Second, in Romans 8:26, Paul says that God the Spirit intercedes for us with wordless groans.  Now, groaning does not seem like a happy emotion to me.  Seems like a metaphor for pain and mourning.  Seems like a cry to me.

So if God the Son cries, and God the Spirit cries, why couldn't God the Father cry? 

We are made in God's image, with his characteristics.  The Bible is full of advice about mourning, including when to mourn.  If God tells us to mourn, and we are like him, isn't it possible that he also mourns?

Finally, I know God.  I don't know everything about him, I'm still learning a lot.  But I've come to know him pretty well by now.  When tragedy strikes the creation he loves, is he so far removed from us that he doesn't feel our pain?  And just like we cry with each other, doesn't it make sense that God may join in on our tears?

The great conclusion about this is that while God may join in our sorrow, he doesn't become depressed.  He isn't incapacitated with grief.  He's never overwhelmed with emotions he cannot handle.  This is the one who created the emotions!  Of course he can handle them!

I say all this to hopefully bring comfort.  Our great big God knows us intimately, knows our hurts and fears, and he cares.  He walks beside us, feels our pain, shares our mourning.  That brings so much comfort to me! 

Reminds me of a song:

Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press, and the cares distress,
And the way grows weary and long?

• Refrain:
  Oh, yes, He cares, I know He cares,
  His heart is touched with my grief;
  When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
  I know my Savior cares.

 Does Jesus care when I’ve said “goodbye”
To the dearest on earth to me,
And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks—
Is it aught to Him? Does He see?

Does God care?  Oh yes . . . He cares.

My God is Bigger

I wrote the following on the day of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting on December 14.  I still feel the same way.

 

Watch out ... I'm preaching.

Evil is real. It exists in the form of Satan, also know as the devil, Lucifer. Good is also real. It exists in the form of God, his son, Jesus Christ, and in His Spirit.

Have no doubt. The enemy comes to kill, to steal, to destroy. He has done that today. But - hear me clearly, because I am not holding back - MY GOD IS BIGGER. I don't understand this world or its ways. But my God is bigger. Today is as dark as a day could be. But my God is bigger. Evil has run rampant today. And yet ... still ... my God is bigger.

Those who hope in the Lord will soar on wings, like eagles. Let us mourn with those who mourn. Let us cry genuine tears of compassion for those who have lost. But let us also hope in God, who is good. God, who is love. God, who is faithful and true.

There is real evil in the world. Today that is clearly evident. But my God is bigger.

Amen.

Where is God?

Oh my friends . . . my heart, like yours, is heavy tonight.  What a tragedy was inflicted today in Boston. 

I wish I had great words of insight, wisdom and comfort to share with my friends and family.  But I don't.  All I know is - God is good.

He doesn't seem good tonight, though, does he?  He seems . . . absent.  People always want to know, where was God?  Where was he during a tragedy?  Where was he during the fear and horror?  Why did he turn away?

And people always have pat answers:  He was right there, all the time, watching.  (What does that mean, that he's a masochist?  Standing by watching tragedy unfold in some kind of gleeful way?)  He wanted to be there but the people ignored him.  (Ridiculous.  This implies that our omnipotent, omniscient God sits around like a wimp and waits for people to pay attention to him.)  He was allowing his judgment to unfold against the people of the marathon.  (I almost can't stomach this thought.  God doesn't "accidentally" allow innocent people to be hurt in his judgment.  And furthermore, God doesn't judge like that anymore - our Messiah paid for our judgment.)

So where was God today?  Why did allow this to happen?  Why does he allow all this tragedy, this hurt, to occur in the world?

My answer?  I don't know. 

All I know is this:

When the world is bad, my God is good.
When man gives himself over to sin and violence, my God is good.
When the worst is happening, my God is good.
When life seems out of control, my God is good.

How do I know this?

Because I know him.  I've known him for a long time now, and I've always seen his goodness.  His love, his mercy, his power.

Don't be fooled into thinking that my God is surprised today, terrified about what's happened.  He's not wringing his hands, wondering what will happen tomorrow.

My God is good.  Even when I don't see good.  My God is good. 

The Joy of Loss

I've talked to several people in the last week, who are all sharing similar stories.  They feel lonely, sad, frustrated, despaired.  And we've all felt that way, haven't we? 

What is our first response when we feel anything less than happy?  Mostly, we pray that God will take away those feelings.  Bring us a friend.  Make us feel good.  Make us feel happy.

But I was reminded today that sometimes those feelings are very good things.  Sometimes when we feel lonely, and can't find anyone to talk to, we are left with no other choice but to talk to God.

Kind of sad, right?

Sad that he is our last resort.  He should be the first one we turn to.  But we live in such an instant gratification society.  Calling a friend - instant gratification.  Oh, here's one for you:  Ranting on Facebook - instant gratification! 

God is not like that, and yet he is, at the same time.  He's not like that, in that sometimes he doesn't meet our need immediately.  Sometimes we have to wait to feel better.  Yet, he is like that in that he is instantly near, instantly with us, instantly listening. 

Can I give you this advice?  The next time you feel alone, let yourself feel it.  Feel lonely.  Feel sad.  Don't shove that feeling aside, or use shopping, food, sex, or anything else to make yourself feel better. 

That's right.  Don't feel better.

Because that loneliness might be what God is using to pull you closer to him.  That moment of despair might be just the moment he has been patiently waiting for.  God uses all things, you see?  And he uses every opportunity to show you his extravagant love for you. 

Before we pray for our circumstances or our feelings to change, let's pray that God uses those times to draw us closer. 

Thoughts About Judas

[this was supposed to post yesterday.  sorry.]

Good Friday.  Today's the day.  The day the ultimate sacrifice was made for all mankind.

Several people died that day with Jesus.  The two thieves, on either side of him.  And Judas.  (And yes, I'm sure lots of people died on that day, too.)

We know that two people went to paradise that day - we know that for sure!  Jesus told the penitent thief, "Today you will be with me in Paradise."  The unrepentant thief, based on his actions on the cross, is evidently not there.

Where is Judas?

And why does it matter?

I put the question out on Facebook, and on this blog, wanting to know your thoughts about Judas.  Before I get into my thoughts, let me tell you why I think considering Judas is even important.  A couple of months ago, I preached a sermon where I shared my testimony.  I became a Christian as a teenager, but in my 20's, I walked away.  I went to church every week, looked God in the face, and turned to sin anyway. 

Do you see why I think Judas is important?  Because he was with God, everyday, looking him right in the face, and he turned to sin anyway. 

We consider Judas, and we think, how could he do something so horrific?  How could he betray Jesus?  How could he?  We forget that we do the same thing every time we sin.  We betray him, his love for us, and his sacrifice for us.

I asked you all the question, do you think Judas was born - created - with the purpose of betraying Christ?  In other words, did God create a human in order for him to sin, and ultimately be condemned for eternity?

I don't know a God like that.  We were all fearfully and wonderfully made, knit together in our mothers' wombs.  I don't see anything biblically that says there are any exceptions to that.  But because of Adam's sin, we are each born with a sinful nature.  We can choose right or wrong.  And we all know, that left to our own devices, we'll often choose wrong.

Was Judas born to die?  Yes and no.  Yes, in that we all are.  No, in that he chose his path.  Just like we all do.

Now, here's where I may blow your mind.  This is simply my opinion.  I think it's entirely possible that Judas is in heaven.  Here is why:   he obviously was remorseful.  In Matthew 27, the Bible says that Judas was "seized" with remorse.  He tried to undo what he had done, but it was too late.  And while I know he committed suicide, there's no way to know what happened between him and God in those last moments of his life.

So why is it important?  Maybe it's not.  But sometimes we view this side of Easter as if we had nothing to do with it, and if it weren't for Judas, Jesus wouldn't have been sacrificed.  We forget that Peter denied him, the disciples abandoned him, and every single time we choose sin over him, we are doing the same thing.

Maybe you don't understand what I'm saying.  Maybe you've never been . . . bad.  Because of my choices in my past, I can identify with Judas.  I really hope he's in heaven, because what a story of redemption he will tell!  And when I'm done listening to his story, I want to tell him mine. 

The Suffering Servant

Just had to discuss this question in my homework for my Old Testament class:
 
What would be the implications for the contemporary Church, of a Messiah modeled after the "Son of Man" and "Suffering Servant." In our efforts to be "Christlike", why should these models impact our daily living?

And I couldn't help remembering times that my church suffered:  because someone sat in their pew.  Because someone decided to lay blue carpet instead of red.  Because we had the wrong items for breakfast.  Because we didn't have VBS.  Because we watched the Super Bowl.

Ahhhh . . . our suffering.  Our servanthood.  Our Christlikeness. 

But that's me talking about other people.  Let me think about how I have suffered. 

Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking. 

My friends . . . I have no idea what suffering is.  I might not even really know servanthood.  What scares me?  Is if that I don't know those two things, I might not understand Christlikeness.  At all. 

And that scares me to death. 

Whether or not I suffer is up to God.  But whether or not I serve?  That's up to me.  And I can do more.  I must do more.

Judas

What do you think about Judas? Was he born to bear this terrible burden, the shame of betraying his only Savior? Did he really have a choice? Is he a 'bad guy,' even thouhh his actions brought about the single most relevant and important event of sacrifice and forgiveness know to man? I'm really interested to hear your thoughts. You can either comment here or email me at jecoffman@aol.com. I'll share my thoughts later in the week.

Hate the Sin

You know what I hate?  I hate that saying.  "Hate the sin, love the sinner."  Number 1, it's not biblical.  It's a nice saying, but it's not from scripture.  Number 2, it's not practical.  How do you even do that?  How do you love your neighbor as yourself but hate their gossiping?  Their stealing, their murdering?

See what I mean?  How do you separate the sin from the sinner?  A gossip gossips.  A liar lies.  A murderer murders.

I'm not saying that we should get that backwards.  We are certainly not called to hate sinners.  That would mean hating even ourselves!  And Jesus definitely modeled this behavior when he spoke to the Samaritan woman.  When he ate at the home of the tax collector.  When he forgave the thief, right at the very end.

But scripture is not "useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training" if it's not applicable.  And we should know the bible well enough to know what is real, what is in there, and what is just a Christian cliché. 

My frustration is that to hate the sin is at the same time, too easy and impossible.  How can I truly hate someone's sin?  And yet love them?  This saying, unfortunately, has given us license to just hate, without separating the person from the behavior.  And do you see the paradox?  I don't know how to do that, how to separate, because where sin truly is . . . is the heart.  And how can I hate someone's heart?

Here's what Christian comedian, singer, author and speaker Mark Lowry said:

 “Love the sinner, hate the sin? How about: Love the sinner, hate your own sin! I don’t have time to hate your sin. There are too many of you! Hating my sin is a full-time job….How about you hate your sin, I’ll hate my sin and let’s just love each other!”

You know what?  I agree.  Let me be more consumed with eliminating the sin in my own heart than focusing on yours.  I'd much rather be stronger for taking on the challenge of my own sin, and dealing with it, and putting it behind me, through the power of Christ.  That sounds like a full time job to me.

Results of Bitterness

Yikes.  Another conversation with a bitter person about how bad things are around them.  I am sick of it!  Sick. To. Death.

I keep praying that God will save me from bitterness, especially as I get older.  I keep seeing the men and women of an older generation gripe about everything, and I don't want that to happen to me. 

Life changes.  Everything changes.  And you can either trust God or not.  You can believe or you can gripe.  It's pretty simple.  But putting your happiness in the hands of your circumstances is ridiculous.  First of all, your happiness is not God's primary concern - it's your holiness he's after.  Second, your reaction to your circumstances reflect your holiness, and for some people, that should scare you!  Third, a complaining spirit is clearly not a godly attitude, and if you are not developing godly attributes, you are developing evil ones.  It's that simple. 

If you want a more abundant life, than pursue it.  Go - no, run to God!  Run to him and seek his ways, his counsel.  If you want to rise above your circumstances, God will help you do it.  But please don't call on his name with one side of your mouth and complain about life with the other. 

It's a dangerous game you're playing, my friend.  Very dangerous. 

Here are some verses to consider about bitterness:

Woe to those who call evil good
    and good evil,
who put darkness for light
    and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
    and sweet for bitter.

Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes
    and clever in their own sight.  Isaiah 5:20-21

 

Your wickedness will punish you;
    your backsliding will rebuke you.
Consider then and realize
    how evil and bitter it is for you
when you forsake the Lord your God
    and have no awe of me,”
declares the Lord, the Lord Almighty.  Jeremiah 2:19

 

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:30-32

Let's pray together that God will keep our hearts from bitterness, that we will recognize bitterness when we see it, and that we can encourage those who are bitter without letting it affect us.